CNN Reports: Voter Fraud?!

In what many reporters and DcCityBall fans are collectively calling a "travesty" and a "disappointment ruining an otherwise joyous occasion," reports of voter fraud in this week's ITV Poll have surfaced. At the heart of the investigation is suspicion over the total number of votes placed and whether or not voters have been bending the rules. When asked to comment about the ongoing investigation, a Swinger who asked to remain anonymous said, "I'm not saying that there's been foul play, but there's no way the Pourhowzers have over a hundred friends. Even if there are like...20 of them, thats still 5 or 6 friends a piece. No way."

While the average ITV poll lasts 7 days and nets approximately 7-12 responses in that period, this week's canvass regarding an upcoming ITV interview feature has already seen over 250 votes cast.

As of the time of this report, Justin Kolikof, captain of the Pourhowzers has a commanding lead over Swinger Evan Stancil, 173-71, with UCONN's Travis Knight still within striking distance at 5 total votes. When asked about the alleged impropriety, Kolikof, while rushing by the media barricade, was quoted as saying, "I have no comment one way or the other, but the rules were ill-defined. We're just playing it smart....The people have spoken! They want MORE KOL-BELL!"

The major spike in poll-voting has not only affected the outcome of the interview, but also has rapidly increased ITV's total hit count, launching it from a solid 3763 hits to a total well over 4100 in a matter of hours. When asked to comment, a noticeably disheveled ITV chairman, Brian Fitzpatrick said, "Yea..that's [expletive] great. But not one of you [expletive]suckers clicked a [expletive] advertisement. I didn't make a dime. Thanks a-[expletive]-ing-lot...[expletive]-bags."

Officials will reportedly seek to conclude the investigation by Saturday, after questioning all parties involved. They will, however, not continue to pursue allegations of collusion against Commissioner David Sack, referencing his paltry one vote total, calling the Commissioner-made accusations, "...ridiculous. Seriously ridiculous."