You otter not forfeit by Commissioner Dave Sack

Before I get started on topics ranging from why my players hate free beer to why my players hate me...let me first add to the origin story. Not the origin of Brian the Ump, but of Brian the Man, ney, Brian the Baby. People ask me all the the time, "hey commish, where the heck did you find that Brian dude." While the story is so intense and unbelievable that I rarely speak it aloud for fear of frightening any listener, I think putting it in writing might be an acceptable form of conveying the story as well as a cathartic experience for the author. Before you point out any age discrepancies in the story please remember that my relationship with West Potomac Park and Softball is similar to that of Jack Torrence and The Overlook Hotel; best summed up by paraphrasing one Delbert Grady, "I've always been here." The year was 1985 and DC CityBall (then District of Columbia Leisure and Games Club) consisted of just 2 teams...Bases to the Future and The Truffle Shuffles. I was loading up my VW Vanagon and heading home to relax snort coke and watch supertv when I noticed a basket floating in the Potomac River. As I edged closer to the river I could hear a tiny cry and realized it was coming from the basket. I was able to pull the basket from the river and what I saw both shocked and awed me. Wrapped only in an ASA Approved Double-Knit Blanket was a tiny baby...a tiny, bearded, irritable, hairy baby. What I had first interpreted as cries were actually umpire calls. The tiny baby was umping a tiny, imaginary game in his head. Needless to say I took the baby and raised him as my own-mentoring him in the art of umping, commissioning and blogging.

Now, to the 2 teams who turned out for FREE BEER at the Hatter, hope you enjoyed it. And to the other 30 teams...seriously? Free beer, 25 cent wings, bar with no natural light or clocks. What gives? Finally, on a semi-serious note a quick word about the league. I have always prided myself on creating a league that offers something for everyone: competitive teams, recreational teams, beginner teams, beer league teams. But this league has rules and the rules need to be followed. Teams must wear shirts and athletic shoes, teams must show up on time with their own players and I expect all teams to respect their opponents, the umpires and the league at all times. The mound is not an open-mic comedy hour and the outfield is not a tanning salon. This is rec league softball people, act like you've been here before. The rules are in place to keep the games fun, competitive, organized and especially to keep the league from becoming a glorified pick-up league.

Glad we have so many returning teams for Summer Ball and look forward to a few new ones! And to those of you still wondering what the title of this post means, well, you just aren't in the inner circle of DC CityBall.