Into the DEYP II: The Umpire Strikes Back...You like that, huh? Edition

I'm gonna be honest. I stole all my own thunder with part one. I got nothin left to say to any of you. Go to the party. Let's see what we can scrape together...

So now that you know what it takes to make it through the DEYP let me put the carrot on the end of that stick for you donkeys. Here are a few highlights from years past. (Note: I'm trying not to embarrass anyone, except for Dave and myself, so the identities of certain people/teams have been hidden to protect their identities...but you know who you are!)

-Spring 2006: A young, brash umpire overzealously tries to go drink for drink with not one, but two teams, resulting in the following chain of events -- Umpire leaves bar at 2am, goes to Suntrust ATM for cab fare, bladder is full. Umpire becomes trapped in said ATM. Umpire may or may not have relieved himself on Suntrust ATM. Realizing there is a camera in ATMs, Umpire puts shirt over face. Still trapped, Umpire calls friend for assistance. Friend, barely conscious, sends girlfriend. Girlfriend frees Umpire. Umpire returns to bar. (Scene missing) ....Umpire ends up at brother's apartment. Sings Robert Goulet songs for 45 minutes. Gets sent to bed. Wakes up in bathroom. Tries to board a train at 9. Severely underestimates the necessary level of lucidity needed for train travel. Umpire no longer welcome at Suntrust, Amtrak, City of Trenton.


A certain team attempts to pick up a female from a rival team. Result: Successful.

Fall 2006: Another certain team tries to pick up the sister of a female of a rival team. Result : Failure.

Swingers claim victory of league, declare ownership of the city. Set sights on world domination.

Umpire and Swinger try to set up other Swinger with fine young woman. Swinger too drunk to comprehend English language.

Summer 2007:
(Scene missing) (I broke my phone and disappeared for 3 hours...lets move on)

Fall 2007: Creepy guy from team keeps hugging me, er...I mean Umpire. Other creepy guy hits on Swinger. Neither get any action.

Frankly there are a LOT of other stories...but not many that I can print. Come to the party and see for yourselves.
It's nap time, gotta prepare for tomorrow.

-Play ball